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Apparently, I Have a Bitin’ List Now
I’ve started listening to country music again. I go through phases with music. I’ll listen to the same kind of shit forever, wander off into something completely different, and then eventually find my way back. Well, apparently I’m back in my country era. The other day, Bitin’ List by Tyler Childers came on. And then…
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The Cupcakes Grandma Made Sure I Kept
Around Christmas one year, I asked my grandma for the recipe for my brother’s favorite cupcakes. I can’t remember if I called her at home in New York or if she happened to be down here visiting when I asked. But apparently she didn’t have the recipe handy, because I didn’t get it then. I…
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Apple Crisp
I wish I had a whole stack of my sister’s recipes to put here. I don’t. Katey was the baker in our family, and somehow this apple crisp recipe is one of the few recipes of hers I still have. So we’re starting here. The paper is folded. It’s stained. She crossed something out and…
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I Want to See Your Peacock 🦚
It’s funny how memories work. There are things I desperately try to remember about Katey, and sometimes I just can’t. I can sit there and search my brain for a specific moment and get absolutely nothing. Then I’ll be driving down the road on some random day, not even thinking about her, and suddenly there…
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I Didn’t Know It Was Goodbye
I’m a wreck writing this one. I’ve cried, stopped, walked away, come back, and cried some more. I knew when I started this blog that eventually I’d have to tell you about losing Katey. I just didn’t realize how much it would hurt to put that week into words. So here we go. The last…
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Well, a little update…
Remember that back pain I mentioned? Turns out I have fucking shingles. Honestly, I’m weirdly relieved. Not because shingles is particularly fun — because it most definitely is not — but because when you’ve had cancer, unexplained pain hits differently. Your brain doesn’t go to maybe I pulled a muscle. It goes straight to places…
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The Test That Won’t Let Me Forget
I scheduled my next Signatera test today. September 10. And I would love to tell you that I calmly put it on my calendar and went on with my day. Yeah. No. Because the last time I took this test, it came back positive. For those who have never had the pleasure of learning an…
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He Didn’t Know I Had Cancer. He Just Stopped.
There are people who have done things for me that they probably don’t even remember. I remember. During breast cancer treatment, I kept working. My office was about an hour from home, which meant that after a full day of work, I still had an hour-long drive ahead of me. Chemo exhaustion is hard to…
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It Was Only $5
The $5,000 credit card, a lifetime of shopping with my sister, and the lie we never stopped telling our husbands. I was 18 years old when a bank decided I was responsible enough to have a credit card with a $5,000 limit. Let me say that again. Eighteen. Years. Old. Five thousand dollars. I don’t…
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My Dad, His Red Underwear, and a Very Bad Plan
My sister Katey and I were in high school, and of course, there were boys. It was late one night. And when I say late, I don’t mean we probably should’ve been in bed late. I mean 2 a.m. late. We were on the phone with some boys, and somehow we had decided that these…